Umm Assad Home School

'…it's all about tarbiyyah!'

Why School Is NOT The Best Place For Socialising — December 18, 2018

Why School Is NOT The Best Place For Socialising

You did your research, you got the resources, you set up your timetable and you’re ready to begin your homeschool journey and then, your health-carer turns up and the questions arise…


‘Why aren’t they in school?

‘Do they mix with other children?’

‘Do you not think they need to experience a classroom environment?’


I don’t know who needs to hear this for the hundredth time but…

‘You are the parent, not them!’


How you choose to raise your child is your choice and YOU will be accountable!

Most people seem to make bad judgements about homeschoolers due to the manner of education and in particular socialising which is the main topic of what I will be covering in this post in shaa Allaah! I’m sure we all could write essays about this topic.

Now, nobody is saying that there are no social benefits from going to school. I’m sure a child can be social at school but I don’t believe for a second that school is the ultimate BEST place to socialise a child. Please understand the difference! Social development is very important to the homeschooler. If anything, it’s a huge reason why parents opt to homeschool since it allows flexibility and more control over who or what a child is exposed to.

Here are our top reasons (my husband included) why we believe schools are not necessarily the BEST place to socialise a child and Allaah Ta’ala knows best:

  1. Socialising means different things to different people

    As muslims, we dont care about numbers (popularity) we care about truth so one true friend is better than 100 fake friends

  2. A childs confidence does NOT depend on them going to a school

    In fact, there are many school children who lack confidence and social skills. Children at school are also more prone to bullying, peer pressure or some sort of abuse that parents may live to never know

  3. Skills of socialising can be attained from various places

    This includes places such as the home, relatives, other homeschooled children, penpals, mosques, libraries, friends, neighbourhood, youth club, outside of school activities including madrasa, sports, outdoor space such as walks, shopping or trips and many other suitable environments etc

  4. Children at school don’t have much in common

    Schools force children to spend years in the same company of other children who only have one thing in common; age. Now, you may be thinking some children do make friends with other children of similar interests but that only happens after and NOT before they enter the classroom. When a child is accepted into a school, only age and then location is taken into consideration. No other compatibility is taken into consideration such as religion, interests, learning style or level of maturity etc

  5. There is not enough socialising time given to school children

    School children here in the UK spend at least 6-7 hours, 5 days a week at school. They are given 1 hour of that time per day for a lunch break in which they are able to mix with other children. The rest of those long hours are spent in the classroom behind a desk; either listening to the teacher or getting on with work. Teachers won’t let a child socialise in class and from my experience, if caught talking, have said themselves ‘this is not a place for socialising, this is a place for learning’. The amount of time schools take from a childs day does not even allow them enough time to socialise with others outside of school (especially true in UK). I can only imagine how tiring it must be for those who actually manage to accomplish participating in out-of-school activities both guardian and child. I guess you can always wait for school trips which sometimes come once a year or the holiday breaks. Hmmm…

  6. Children don’t always get to sit with whoever they like

    A lot of school teacher’s have this belief that children shouldn’t sit in class with those they feel most comfortable around. I understand that some friends can affect their peers concentration but joining a child with someone they don’t feel safe or comfortable around is uneccessary in my opinion and can discourage a child from wanting to come to school altogether

  7. Teachers impact a child’s confidence

    I hope school teachers realise how serious and real this is especially those who yell & give detention as a way to ‘discipline’ a child which can lead to a child becoming rebellious. A teacher’s role is a huge one in which they are replacing the time loving parents wish they had with their children. Teachers are in a position to make or break a child yet not enough one-to-one time is given to every child which is something a child needs daily to meet their potential.

    Sadly, schools only have one parents evening within the whole year. Are teachers really putting on their real character when parents meet them? Is this one evening enough time to have a good look at your child’s yearly progress? Allaahu aalem.

If you would like to continue the list in the comments, please feel free. I’d love to hear what you think too in shaa Allaah.

Well, it all comes down to this. The decisions YOU make for YOUR family are YOUR right & you dont need peoples approval!

As long as you are not being neglectful and keeping your child from benfiting with others then please do yourself a favour and ignore the judgement people make which they have no knowledge about. People are afraid of what they don’t know! Remember, worrying about what others think about your parenting whether family, friends or a doctor will only hold you back from reaching your own goals as a family.

You may be killing yourself over the opinion or judgement of someone who is not even the one fully responsible for your children.

If you homeschool, good. If you dont, good for you. Remember, you’re the parent, not them, and it’s all about tarbiyyah (cultivation)!

Please take care of yourself and your family first!

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Jazaakom Allahu khair!


A Complete ‘Preschool Curriculum’ for ‘Letter of the WEEK’ — September 9, 2016

A Complete ‘Preschool Curriculum’ for ‘Letter of the WEEK’

About the Folder:

Over the past few months, a group of homeschooling mothers and I have come together to organise a weekly meet up where our children get together and simply free play. Originally, the purpose of our meet ups were nothing more than just ‘playdates’ for our homeschooled children to allow them to socialise, do basic activities as a group and just support one another on our homeschool journey. What started out as ‘playdates’ has recently turned into something way more productive and beneficial for both mothers and children Alhamdolillah.

By Allah Ta’ala permission, we have created a ‘home-nursery’ and our very own personalised ‘Preschool Curriculum’ that we hope will last for at least 6-8 months inshaAllah. This is now available for all to download FREE now:

Click to download

You can use this curriculum as a group or simply on your own. So far both children and mothers have been very pleased with it. So we wanted to share the success with other mothers like yourself. Most of what takes place in our home-nursery are taken from the ‘Letter of the Week Activity Book’ and the ‘Preschool Maths Activity Book’ where you can download on this website for free. We use the preschool maths book mainly as a guideline as we prefer to do more hands on activities and there are just so many out there walhamdolillah.

The learning objectives within our activities include; basic practical life skills, phonics learning, maths (counting colour/shape/size sorting), sensorial, fine/gross motor skills, exploring, creativity, social, fitness etc. Each mother encourages and supports their children (socially and educationally) and while the children learn at their own paste and mothers observe their unique ‘learning style’. The children’s work are also taken home to build their own Homeschool portfolios. We also have have regular group meetings over the phone where we offer one another extra support, recommend new ideas and voice other concerns.

What’s Inside?

  1. A Complete (English) Alphabet Planner/Timetable
  2. Lessons that cover 5 areas; Languages, Maths, Food Fun, Outdoor Fun and Arts/Crafts
  3. Word Bank for each Letter of the Alphabet
  4. Ideas for each lesson
  5. Spare Sheet (at the end of the folder) for your own ideas
  6. Holiday Planning

The following sums up what takes place within our playdates:

Circle Time – We begin (and end) every lesson with ‘circle time’; this starts with the remembrance of Allah where we teach the children to begin the gathering by calling upon Allah and sending peace upon the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi w sallam), we then spread the greetings of ‘Salaamu alaykom’ and encourage each person to shake hands with everybody in the room. Next, we remind the children that Allah made everything, mention what letter of the week it is and how many things they can mention that Allah made beginning with that letter. An introduction to what will take place that day will be given just after we all say the alphabet (with no music) and count to 20 or as much as the children are able. Upon completion of our day, every child is rewarded with a sticker to place on their reward chart which they stick on themselves.

‘Letter of the Week’ Theme – Each week, we introduce a new letter of the alphabet in alphabetical order. There are two meetings in a week; First meeting consists of Languages and Maths Activities, Second meeting has 3 options to choose from of various activities related to that letter; food, outdoor or arts. If, for whatever reason, work is not complete during playdate hours then children take their work home to complete there.

*There are 4 pages for each letter from the ‘Letter of the Week Book’ and we spend no more than 10 or 15 minutes per page then up to an hour doing various maths activities, the rest of the day the children are left to free play. For our second meeting (which consists of 3 different topics; Food fun, Outdoor Fun and Arts) we have the option to pick 1, 2 or all 3 of them that day depending on our time, for example if we want to do all 3 topics then we would start the day with Art then plan Food fun for a lunch then go out for the rest of that remaining day. Some days may require a trip to the Aquarium which will take up the whole day so we would find time at home to complete arts or just move on from it which is absolutely fine.

Meetings – At the end of each week or when necessary, a group meeting is held to discuss any concerns as well as planning.

This program is a really simple approach, it’s all a matter of reading through this planner and spotting the pattern of how things are done, the only change is literally the change of letter that week.

How to use the Folder:

  1. Print everything out on white A4 paper; adjust your printer to ‘borderless’ and one sided (one sided allows you to take notes and make checklists at the back of each page)
  2. Bind it at your local office supply
  3. Follow each page as it suits you and your family; (you can as a group or on your own)
  4. For more ideas, read the above ‘About’ section

What you need:

  • The ‘Playdates Planner’ Folder (please have a look at the planner before you begin, this will give you a good idea of what to prepare for, remember it’s really simple and has a pattern to it throughout so don’t stress. If you have any questions then you can email your concerns inshAllah)
  • Letter of the Week Activity Book, Preschool Maths Activity Book
  • Preschooler(s)/Parent or Guardian
  • Lesson supplies such as pencils, colours, scissors, glue, playdough, arts and crafts materials etc
  • Lots of dua to Allah!

Other Resources used:

  • Check ‘My Printables’ page and ‘Resources’ page: preschool section
  • Online resources e.g. Twinkl for worksheets
  • Outdoor fun collectables e.g. leaves
  • Reading Books e.g. Jolly Phonics
  • Whatever’s available at home

We hope you enjoy this curriculum and please do let us know how you and your children get on inshAllah. May Allah make it easy for us all, increase us in His remembrance and tawwakul and make our children the COOLNESS of our eyes, Ameen!

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Jazaakom Allahu khair!